what!?

what the heck is life trying to tell me! and why say it so harsh! could it be i need to stop partying and drinking. or that i need to get off the computer more? what is the point in all this reckless stuff life is throwing me! its getting to much to handle! i cant even express my feelings enough. i dont even know if have feelings because they've been thrown all over the place. whos directing the forces here. because they arent doing a very good job at all. atleast point me in the fucking right place, so i know the next fuckin steps to get the fuck over it and move on. but nope. life enjoys torturing me till the point of depravation!