No Longer Running
Hi, My name is Grace. I am ready to be entirely honest. As honest as possible at this moment in time. I've decided to come back to this blog because I am no longer running from my past. I'm here to make peace with it. It's been more than a few years since I've been here looking at this and I am ready once again to open the door. But first, today is November 3rd 2018. A very special day indeed. It's been eight months of being clean and sober. This is truly something to celebrate. My mind is clear. My heart is clear. My emotions are on the journey to sobriety also.
Ive been so inspired lately to find my passions and creativity in life. I feel deeply connected to reading and writing throughout my life. My mother first taught me how important it is to journal. She told me to write all my feelings down. No matter how angry, sad, scared, happy, joyful or unique they seemed. I remember the relief it brought me as a child. She gave me my first journal I ever owned. She also taught me to pray. She reminded me there was a God much bigger than any of us and he knew of all our problems no matter how big or small. This is what I feel God wants me to do. My job is to listen to him and to trust what his will and his plans are. I'm here to follow that fire inside and listen when it gives me signs of what to do. As I wrote this a car caught on fire outside of my window and fire and policemen sirens were going off. Of all times. I don't believe in coincidence anymore. My story is all about how seemingly unconnected things become so intertwined and connected. Like the impossible becoming reality.
I want to document my recovery, my gift and second chance at life. I am ready to see myself in a new light. I am reborn. I don't live in self pity, insecurity, fear and destruction anymore. Today, more than ever in my life I have women who stand with me and support me on my journey of loving myself for who I am/who I am under all the layers I've put on since being a child. Peeling back the memories one by one seeing who really lies under manipulation, survival instincts, trauma, loneliness, anxiety, depression. I've been so deeply profoundly touched by the grace of God. I know I am worthy of the grace being given. I wasn't always so sure. This is the beginning of a new adventure!
Ive been so inspired lately to find my passions and creativity in life. I feel deeply connected to reading and writing throughout my life. My mother first taught me how important it is to journal. She told me to write all my feelings down. No matter how angry, sad, scared, happy, joyful or unique they seemed. I remember the relief it brought me as a child. She gave me my first journal I ever owned. She also taught me to pray. She reminded me there was a God much bigger than any of us and he knew of all our problems no matter how big or small. This is what I feel God wants me to do. My job is to listen to him and to trust what his will and his plans are. I'm here to follow that fire inside and listen when it gives me signs of what to do. As I wrote this a car caught on fire outside of my window and fire and policemen sirens were going off. Of all times. I don't believe in coincidence anymore. My story is all about how seemingly unconnected things become so intertwined and connected. Like the impossible becoming reality.
I want to document my recovery, my gift and second chance at life. I am ready to see myself in a new light. I am reborn. I don't live in self pity, insecurity, fear and destruction anymore. Today, more than ever in my life I have women who stand with me and support me on my journey of loving myself for who I am/who I am under all the layers I've put on since being a child. Peeling back the memories one by one seeing who really lies under manipulation, survival instincts, trauma, loneliness, anxiety, depression. I've been so deeply profoundly touched by the grace of God. I know I am worthy of the grace being given. I wasn't always so sure. This is the beginning of a new adventure!
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