Words I Couldn't Say To You..
im sorry for anything i said that hurt you. i wanted to live my own life do my own things..and party. so thats the way i've been living.
but along with way i've been dealing with personal issues and personal growth..and most important.. learning about relationships. im defeating my anxiety so i can keep up in social groups and learning to speak up.
after i tore away from god not to long after we stopped talking. i took everything into my own hands. i stepped up from the underdog and took the wheel for my life.. away from God...for the first time in my life.
with everyday away from christ i was learning how to stand on my own two feet. when i was christian..i felt i didnt have to speak for myself, i felt god would do everything for me forever. but the trust is he wont. and he wasnt going to even if i wanted him to.i made myself grow up,spiritually, i had to stop leaning on god to make me feel better or help me get things done.
so i found a new way to get through life. it was called living. just living. every minuete, every hour, everyday. just simply living.and if things went well..that was great. if they went bad..it sucked. but i lived throught it and i learned about it.
i became less spiritual. scratch that, i became spiritual in a different way. i put my spirit into my friends, my hopes, my dream and "my living in the moment additude" took me high high high up the mountian... that i had always been sitting at the bottom and waiting to climb.in the morning when i woke up, my head was held high knowing that I was going to achieve something. and that god wasnt going to do it for me. i had something to prove to myself and people around me for once. i had something to do. i have my own free reign over my thoughts and actions. although i made many mistakes when using my new tools, its in that that i got to learn to say and do the right things..instead of them being done for me by god.
i was able to fly away from his cage and become my own person. to have my own thinking and own wants. instead of his. im still a baby bird trying to fly. but i've left the nest..to see every other living creature, every other "nest" created and the beautiful sky sea and animals around me.
boy!... its good to be alive. it's good to be well. and its good to learning, loving and enjoying
but along with way i've been dealing with personal issues and personal growth..and most important.. learning about relationships. im defeating my anxiety so i can keep up in social groups and learning to speak up.
after i tore away from god not to long after we stopped talking. i took everything into my own hands. i stepped up from the underdog and took the wheel for my life.. away from God...for the first time in my life.
with everyday away from christ i was learning how to stand on my own two feet. when i was christian..i felt i didnt have to speak for myself, i felt god would do everything for me forever. but the trust is he wont. and he wasnt going to even if i wanted him to.i made myself grow up,spiritually, i had to stop leaning on god to make me feel better or help me get things done.
so i found a new way to get through life. it was called living. just living. every minuete, every hour, everyday. just simply living.and if things went well..that was great. if they went bad..it sucked. but i lived throught it and i learned about it.
i became less spiritual. scratch that, i became spiritual in a different way. i put my spirit into my friends, my hopes, my dream and "my living in the moment additude" took me high high high up the mountian... that i had always been sitting at the bottom and waiting to climb.in the morning when i woke up, my head was held high knowing that I was going to achieve something. and that god wasnt going to do it for me. i had something to prove to myself and people around me for once. i had something to do. i have my own free reign over my thoughts and actions. although i made many mistakes when using my new tools, its in that that i got to learn to say and do the right things..instead of them being done for me by god.
i was able to fly away from his cage and become my own person. to have my own thinking and own wants. instead of his. im still a baby bird trying to fly. but i've left the nest..to see every other living creature, every other "nest" created and the beautiful sky sea and animals around me.
boy!... its good to be alive. it's good to be well. and its good to learning, loving and enjoying
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