i miss you

i miss so many people. i miss old friends. i miss people i cant see. i miss how i use to be. i even miss god at this point.

i miss a boy. i miss the person who helped me get so close to what i wanted. i miss why he came into my life, and why he left. i miss his handsome blue eyes..and his braveness around me. i miss his great stories and his comfort. i miss his love and his voice.

im scared that i want him because i crave the good things he brought. but what were the things that kept us apart?
no trust
mis under standing
too much fear
lack of ...what?

but cant we over come this? did i destory it? would i be able to get it back? is that a good thing?

i know the only one who knows is god. but am i ready to go to him for it? for the answers? do i want to lean on him? can i trust myself to do so?

im missing so much of what i had. and so many people that i had.