arrgg with a hard *sigh*

this week has been so boring.

i missed church on sunday,and i missed youth yesterday, it feels like this week was nothing. like i spent it starring at a wall without realizing the whole week was passing by. damnit.
and now i feel lazy and wasteful. is anything ever gunna happen that is worth my time? that i really enjoy? since i left school i haven't had many friends, so im a loner. i've never ever been the loner. no matter what shape my friends came in…i always always always had some. and now, i have none. i have nobody to spend my time with. so who do i owe this to? myself? God? My parents? - maybe my parents because they're watching who i become friends with, and they delete friends off Facebook if they don't like them. but really i should thank them, because those arent fun or good or nice friends either. when does this..desert place get water? how long till i finally reach the oasis.? im thirsty and reaching.

tbh. *to be honest