How much it kills me

I have simply fallen for the most amazing man on earth. i swear after our love is gone, i could never love another man again. he never ever leaves my thoughts, not for long anyway. he kills me yet he doesnt know, and he could never do anything about it anyways. He moved away. Far away. Although even when he was close he was still far. still far from my cold heart which can not decided to love him or hate him. either hating or loving the boy never gets far from my gaze. i've become obsessed. although im sure he has to. but we are not to be. and its clear to both of us, we think maybe we could make it work in the end because of how strong our love is. but this is just the beginging of life and how could we ever come close to being togeather forever if we met this early in our walk on earth. ohhh where has my heart gone. why do you do this to me, why does my heart burn for the one far away, but not care for the ones around me. when all i want to be happy ever after with the one i love..and its taken from me like a bottle of a babys. why? And this is how much it Kills me.